yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
