at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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