my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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