I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
