omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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