it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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