Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
