So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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