i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
