True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
