He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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