so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
