We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
