it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
