if you like me you must not know who I am
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Randomize
