If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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