But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize