yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
