i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
