Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
