you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
In America we eat man semen.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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