Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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