im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
