Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
