i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
