but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize