Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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