okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
should my penis look like a turkey
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
