I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize