I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
