I think im going to throw up on grandma
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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