There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i now understand why vodka
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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