Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
