This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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