Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
