Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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