i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All the doctor said was why
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
