I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
