ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
