I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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