I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
