when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
