I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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