she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
