Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
