I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
