I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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