I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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