I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
