He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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