omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
