..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
