Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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