Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
