I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
