Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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