Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
