You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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