I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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