so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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