Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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