she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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