Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize