We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
