im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
