i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
