i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
