I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have post one night stand depression
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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