you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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