im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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